Finding my parents

There are three ways to find a couple to be a surrogate for.

1) You know them personally, and you offer on finding their fertility issues.

2) you join an angecy and get matched – free for surroagtes, very expensive for intended parents. Mixed feelings about these across the community, but they do offer at least the illusion of more securiy and they do make everything feel more official. The two main ones in the UK are SUK (surrogacy UK) and COTS (Childlessness overcome through surrogacy). I am with COTS for reasons which will become clear

3) FACEBOOK! Of course, you all knew that! There are loads of groups on facebook where surrogates and intended parents can talk and meet (lots of meets for big groups are made) all for free. There’s lots of information from experienced surrogates and IPs and its all (I don’t know if I mentioned it) FREE. Downside, badly run groups with cliques and uninformed/unengaged admins do become full of arguments and rivalaries and people can lose out.

I found my IPs on facebook. They saw me as available on facebook, and messaged me, and I mesaged back for a few weeks, and then we arranged to meet. They are with COTS, so after talking to them and meeting them in person, we decided to match (I say we, I was so excited that they were AMAZING that I rushed it slightly), and as part of the arrangement, I joined COTS too to make their paperwork easier. The official arrangement was done with a COTS support worker (see the glossary), and they are supporting all of us. Wasn’t a problem for me as it is free for me to join, and my IPs were already members from a previous arrangment.

I matched with them for 5 reasons

1) they were GS and I wanted GS

2) They live within 2 hours of me – I have notoriously short labours

3) they have already got a daughter through surrogacy, and I felt more confident with people that had done this before

4) In meeting them in person, I was very confident that they would be amazing parents (I can see that already with their beautiful daughter), look after me well – ie, confident they are financially secure enough to cover all costs and it not affect the home I was placing a baby in – and confident they will respect my wishes. We also shared many similar outlooks and humour (basically, I like them a lot, and they like me, and we would like each other if we had met outside of this arrangement).

5) They are CANADIAN.

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